Shattered.

Okay so here goes another blog post detailing about my heartbreak. Where do I even begin? I so desperately want to tell someone about the monster residing at the bottom of my heart but I can't bring myself to do it. I have no one to turn to anymore. The one person whom I have been confiding in the past three years left me for himself. Someone new came to my rescue not long after, but that person's gone too so now what I'm left with is myself. I guess this is a wake up call for myself; proving that I don't need to depend on anyone for my happiness but I was doing exactly that for far too long and now I'm crippled without these crutches anymore. 

The thing about me is that I love too quickly; too fast; too hard. And they usually reciprocate, but it fades from them real quick too. 

Those three years we spent together are now slowly fading away from my memory. It's like it doesn't even matter anymore. Three years is a long time, but when you're numb, it feels like... nothing. Like literal nothing. I have been looking back at the memories made, but I feel empty. Like... did it even happen? And if it did, why do I feel indifferent? 

And to the other unrelated person - do you still remember when you pursued me relentlessly  for the first two months? And now it's like I'm a no one to you? Literally in the span of 4 months I slipped from being your priority to a nobody. 

Do I not mean anything to you both? Am I nothing but a fleeting presence in your life? 

I'm stupid and emotional. Tonight's just one of those nights. I know this too, shall pass but in the meantime, it sucks. How I wish I had a button to switch off these unpleasant emotions pulsating with every beat of my heart.

I can't wait to get over you. Yes. ALL OF YOU.