So... What should I be feeling about tomorrow ? I'm going to hit the big 21 and fuck, I've never felt so old in my whole life. There's not gonna be a fancy party whatsoever, to be honest I've actually never even had a birthday party. I've always felt awkward about turning a year older, and the older I got the worst I handled it. I'd feel tears welling in my eyes, something that would never happen before. I guess that, with time, I learned the sentiment. I feel more emotional, but obviously I keep it to myself. Nobody must know I have a weak side. It's just not a thing we practise. I don't treat my mom or my sisters as best friends. In fact, if you are a friend, chances are you know me better than my own family.
What have I achieved as a 20 year old?
I think my year has been pretty damn productive. Apart from the abuse I suffered at Vivo Hotel and subsequently sent to Sarawak to survive on my own, the year has been pretty okay actually. Not too good though but relatively moderate. I've definitely become more paranoid about my grandparents since their fall. Maybe it's because I've finally grown up mentally because according to some people I still look like I'm 18.
Any presents for me?
