Fish are Friends not Food

I don't understand people who have a set of guidelines for people to behave in order to be their "friends". Ok for example, to qualify as my true friend, you need to be available to me when I call you at 3am after the death of my cat, you need to be able to speak in 5 ancient languages, and you need to be able to sacrifice your firstborn child to satan before s/he turns two. 

Why is your friendship so exclusive? Would you even comply with such demands if you came across an acquaintance that has prerequisites like this? 

To me, you cannot put a price tag on friendship. Just because a friend is unavailable to you during the worst times of your life, it doesn't make them a bad friend. Everyone has their own lives to live and their world does not revolve around you alone. Why should you expect your friends to constantly be at your beck and call? Ask yourself, then, do you really need a friend or a maid?

People who constantly talk about how their friends don't really know them - did you allow your friends to penetrate through your barriers? Ultimately it is you who will call the shots on whom you want to count as friends. I hate people who constantly whine about how so-and-so are not true friends because s/he didn't do this/ that for me. Friendship doesn't work that way. They don't owe you anything, and their favors are out of goodwill, not obligation.

As we get older, good friends are harder to come by. I still remember the days when I was 5 - when anyone uttered "I don't want to friend you already" I would be quick to respond "don't want friend then don't friend lah". I had plenty of friends and making new friends at that age was really easy so friends like that were disposable. Now that I am 22, making new friends is nearly an impossible task for me so this explains why I only have like 3 person I can count as friends in uni. Could you imagine, if I put potential friends through my construct of "true friendship" tests, how many friends would I have?

Right.