First Time in VIETNAM!

     Okay so this post is way overdue, 1 month and two days to be exact so do you see where I'm coming from? I have very chronic procrastination issues and it's very hard for me to get going but once I start off, I am fine. But to get started is the hardest part... help me.

     So I went to Ho Chi Minh City on the 11/1 - 16/1. This trip is a very important milestone in my life because this was my first solo overseas trip that my parents ever allowed me to do so I was very excited !!! It's not exactly solo because I traveled with a buddy there but still! Why HCMC ? Because my dad ruled out Cambodia as a poor 4th world country with nothing to offer and also because landmines (what??? dad's logic). And also because it was pretty cheap to fly there from KL as well, my return flight tickets were only RM315. 

DAY 1

     My flight took off at about 12pm local time, and I arrived at Tan Son Nhat Airport at about 3. So from there I took bus no. 152 to Ben Thanh Market, where Pham Ngu Lao was. I have no idea what to expect; I didn't know my stop and I didn't really know how to get there from the stop either but fortunately, there was a fellow Malaysian with me who was heading to the same place so at least we were somewhat fucked together. And then we met a Vietnamese tour guide who was more than willing to help us with directions; and that was my first of the many friendly encounters with the locals.

     I managed to find the hostel I was staying at, it was hidden inside a restaurant called Punjabi. I got there and waited for my travel buddy who was supposed to arrive at about the same time as me to check in, because he made the booking and it was under his name. Tick tock. 5 minutes passed. 10. 20. 30. 45. Finally the very nice lady allowed me to check in under his name probably because she was sick of looking at my face because I've been sitting in front of her for almost an hour. About an hour later after the hour, I FINALLY heard from him. So many things were running through my mind, like did he step on a landmine and die? Did the bus run over a landmine and explode? Did the landmine die ??? Okay the last one doesn't make sense but still. Well, it turned out that he had food poisoning. Food poisoning is like the worst way to die because you simultaneously shit and vomit out of both holes at the same time, so I completely understood his plight. 

     So, since I didn't want to get food poisoning on my first day here either, I chose to eat pasta. Yes. Pasta in Vietnam. Don't question it please.

     Did I mention that I survived crossing the roads here? The traffic here is so insane, my first thought when I had to cross the road for the first time was "fuck this fuck that fuckity fuck me". Apparently you don't wait for the road to clear up because it never will, so what you do is just go ahead and cross and the traffic will flow around you, just as long as you don't chicken out. I tested it and it was like magic - the traffic just goes around you so if you want to commit suicide here it's gonna be really tough. 

DAY 2

     So I went out for some Vietnamese food in the morning (finally!) and it was really good, no lie. My love for cha gio will never die.

     And then I walked into this little cafe and I had my first taste of cute Vietnamese boys. I forgot the name of the cafe cause I was obviously distracted by the waiters. Oh wait... I just noticed that the cafe name is right there in the picture. 

 

     So, since I didn't feel like getting mugged in the streets, I went back for a nap and SURPRISE I wasn't a solo traveller anymore! My travel buddy finally showed up (about time he did) and I was so happy/ relieved because a part of me was 100% convinced that I was going to be left here alone. 

     I was equally as surprised to see that coke in a glass bottle still exists??? I remember drinking these kinda coke back in my mom's hometown in the rubber estate, Bahau when I was 5. And at that moment I was so tempted to smuggle one home for old time's sake.

DAY 3

     Day 3 was Chinatown Day and I had a culture shock in the bus on the way there. If I've ever drove you around, you'd know that I absolutely cannot lay my hands off the honk and based on the incessant honking 24/7, I thought I'd feel right at home. Wrong. I swear the bus driver honks at anything, everything, and NOTHING. The road was straight with nothing in front of you, WHY ARE YOU HONKING??? 

Obviously we got lost because I wanted to go to Chinatown but I have absolutely no sense of direction. Basically it was just a huge market everywhere.

     Well to be honest it was my fault because I dragged us there, so after wandering aimlessly forever his rationale was to have coffee and we did! One thing I noticed with the drinks served there is that it is usually accompanied with a glass of tea. Very fragrant tea, tasted like Jasmine but not exactly that. So in that little coffee shop there are tiny stools for you to sit on that allows you to watch people, and they have tiny coffee tables as well and it was like a little coffee place made for adults. 

     So instead of taking the bus back we walked back because I said the words "If you can do it I can do it" or something along those lines. I said it because he had a huge hole in his knee from a fall and he wanted to walk, so I figured since I did not have a hole in my knee I should be fine walking back. Trust me when I say the hole is huge. Plus, it didn't seem too far from the bus journey there so why not? 

     Not even halfway into the journey I realised what a grave mistake I have made. He kept marching on non stop while I was getting slower by the pace, heavier by the steps. The weather didn't help either cause I'm pretty sure it could have well been 40 deg Celcius at that time because I honestly felt like my body cells were slowly shutting down. Not even halfway into the journey and I've already started asking "are we there yet?". Not even halfway into the journey and I've already wanted to just sleep on the streets for the night. 

     FINALLY we made it back and I just collapsed on the bed. It wasn't until later that we went out for food, and naturally I inclined towards a bowl of pho and it was the only bowl of pho that has ever made me wish for death. Here is the pho in question. 

     The moment I ate it, I felt that something was wrong. No, nothing is wrong with the food because it was piping hot. Well, even before I ate it I felt a little unwell, so I attributed it to being unwell. WRONG AGAIN. I ate about what? 7 spoonfuls? before I decided to waste the whole bowl. On the way back I felt like my stomach was revolting against me. A World War 3 erupted in my digestive tract and food was coming out from everywhere. Remember that R rated description I gave you about food poisoning above? It happened to me. FIVE times. And he had to clean my vomit so José, I am really sorry about that. 

DAY 4

    The next morning I was so much better, but still unwell so we had French food! Holy smokes that baguette was so good I have no words. Tres delicieux! Je veux manger la baguette encore.

     Our next destination was the art museum. The walk there was much better, it was almost nothing compared to the walk the day before. 

    There's nothing much to shout about about this museum, but maybe that's because I don't know how to appreciate art. Oh well.

     By the way I had another culture shock when I went into McDonalds and I saw pork being sold??? Okay I might have overexaggerated a little bit but it was definitely unusual for me to see pork on the menu because, you know, pork and sex is haram in Malaysia. I didn't get the pork burger either because, you know, pork and sex is WHO AM I KIDDING I DON'T EVEN EAT KETCHUP OR MAYONNAISE. 

     This particular McD was already playing Chinese New Year songs when I stepped in, and it was the weirdest thing ever because those songs are Mandarin New Year songs I used to listen to, sung in Vietnamese. I think my brain broke trying to make sense of the songs, and the only way I could describe this weird sensation is Nestum Squid.

     It gets dark by 6pm there, and by dark I mean pitch black and by 6pm I really mean 6pm. Pitch black at 6pm. We headed to the Saigon Central Post Office because I was really interested in this other architecture Gustave Eiffel designed, and I vastly underestimated the distance. The map said 2km, but in actuality it was so much more than 2km. I know this for a fact because my travel buddy complained that it was really far. And you know this for a fact too, because he can really walk (ahem Chinatown, anyone?). 

DAY 5

     Day 5 was beach day! Since the nearest accessible beach was Vung Tau, we headed there first thing in the morning. I had plans to go to the sand dunes in Mui Ne (holy shit sand dunes??) but because of circumstances that left me with very limited time to travel, that plan was scraped. Anyway it is always nice to see other places, and I had a good company so no complaints there! 

 

     It was so peaceful at the beach, and I really enjoyed lazing under the umbrella just chit chatting and doing nothing. Pure bliss.

     Here is us on our last night together in Vietnam (face blurred out because he is too handsome)! I might have gotten on his nerves and he might have gotten on mine, but I would never change anything from this trip because good company beats everything else.

DAY 6

     This was the day I left, and undeniably it was a sad occasion because I've had such an amazing week away from everything that's been bugging me in my life. Waking up in a different country really is an exhilarating feeling. So this is what Vietnam is to me in a single photo:

    Noisy, exciting, fun, amazing. I feel a little saudade thinking back about my time there, from the traffic to the food (except pho) and especially not being able to catch up while crossing the road, but hopefully more adventures are coming in the future. What matters is the memories made, right? 

    So thank you for putting up with my crazy antics, José! I hope you had a good time (if not great) with me tugging on your shirt as we played Crossy Road together. My next destination hopefully might be Portugal so get ready! 

I Don't Know About You But I Loved Being 22

Being 22 has been an interesting experience. The first half of it was nothing out of the ordinary but my second half was very conflicting. I experienced sadness and joy all in the span of less than a month (watching Inside Out as I was typing this It's a very good movie!). October was a bad month for me, but November redeemed itself, and then December rolled around and it was much better. 

I have challenged myself so much this year. I've done things I never thought of doing. I went to Penang with Natty and it was a great experience staying in a mixed dorm. I met a new friend who constantly challenges me to go outside of my comfort zone and be better in general, and I am thankful for that. Then I went alone to Ho Chi Minh City to meet my friend and it was amazing. It was amazing because after almost 5 years, I finally had freedom again, albeit only for a while. But it was still better than nothing, considering that my parents are crazy protective. Hello, I'm 23, I can handle myself very well, okay! 

Here's to a more exciting year ahead as a 23-year-old. This age will mark a milestone in my life because this is the year that I will graduate and exit into the real world as a full-fledged adult. I can't wait (omg no I really don't want to do this but I will have to eventually). I already have plans to go to Europe the moment I am done and when I have money of course, because I don't learn French for nothing. Shit. I still have about 10 months til I graduate and to figure my life out, so I will just let the chips fall where they may. But going overseas is definitely on my list, and I have to accomplish this. 

Goodbye 22, you've been a good learning and growing age. Hello 23, I hope you're more mature yet never stop laughing at fart jokes! 

2016 Resolutions

So I'm the sort of person who just lets whatever happens, happens. I don't like living with a set of rules because chances are I don't follow them and deadlines give me anxiety. So yeh. But resolutions are different. Because I can forget about them for a whole year before I review my year again and remember all of the resolutions that I've made that I fail/ manage to keep. So, here are my resolutions this year.

♦ study harder because I'm slipping off the Dean's list
Yes my results get progressively worse as the semesters go by but I hope I can still salvage whatever that's left of this semester. Only four more subjects, I can do this! (although advertising class is a fucking bitch because no one has any idea what the fuck is going on) (come on, she taught 17 chapters in two months, half-assedly). I need to graduate first class!

♦ take no shit from no one
This is what I really need to practice after preaching about it to everyone I know. After all that's happened with some of the people I thought I knew very well (but actually I didn't even scratch the surface), it's time to stand up for myself and stop allowing myself to be mistreated by anyone. Period. I deserve better than what they treat me as.

♦ stop slacking
Okay this is a huge one that I absolutely have to stick to. I really need to stop procrastinating. I don't have forever. 

♦ get fitter
I've been pretty consistent with working out, but I still have a long way to go. I need a fit body by the end of this year because every year I make the same resolution but every year it goes unfulfilled.

♦ keep my temper in check 
I need to stop being so emotional and lashing out on people I care about. I don't mean it, but my temper sometimes refuse to reason so I still end up getting sad/ angry and taking it out on people dear to me. It sucks, so this is an aspect of myself that I definitely have to change. I think this is also one of the reasons why some people walked out and never came back.

♦ have a more positive mindset 
I want to stop letting little trivial things from bothering me. Sometimes I get too agitated with unimportant matters and it's an unhealthy obsession. I should learn to take life with a grain of salt (or however the proverb goes). 

♦ learn to say no and do what I want
Well I'm 23 in 24 days so it's about time I exercise some freedom for myself. My first solo trip abroad will be in about 10 days to Saigon, and I honestly can't wait! I need more solo trips like this. Well it's not exactly a solo trip cause I'm meeting someone there but still. Now I know that my spirit animal is actually a free bird, and nothing can stop me. Not even you, mom! 

Here's to a better year ahead. 2015 ended pretty well, so 2016 better be good! 

New Year's Resolution 2015

Okay it's been a whole year since I recapped on my new year's resolution. This has become all too routine for me; a mundane task I once was so excited to do. Not anymore though. Over the years I have been so jaded with everything that's happening around me that I feel like I do things just to go through the motions. Here we go:

• study harder and maintain my Dean's list!!! 

So far so good. I've been on the Deans list for all my semesters in uni, albeit slipping a little from the GPA I used to get. But hey in my defense it gets progressively harder therefore making keeping up so much harder as well. Let's see how I will do for my 5th semester.

• do my squats

I'm really proud of myself because I've actually been working out/ exercising since September. I hit the gym for two solid months before workload got the best of me and my gym buddy and then the weather too. So now I mostly do running. And I unlocked an achievement I never thought was possible in my lifetime - running 5k in less than an hour. Thank you ZombiesRun!

• be a better driver 

Well I drive significantly better compared with when I first started, although according to a specific person that I chauffeured for 3 days I drive like I'm trying to commit a homicide so there you go. Driving manual is not a joke because I don't have the best hand-leg coordination, so this is an area that I can work on. Oh yeah I have horrible distance perception too. 

• blog more 

Yep. I wanted to make blogging a monthly affair but I forget every time. But when I do remember to do so, I do it. I wanted to have at least 12 blog posts a year but it didn't happen. Oh well, we still have next year (which is literally less than one hour from now).

• better a better human in general

I can't really say that I have been a better person, but I can say that I've definitely changed. I handle situations with a slightly more mature mindset these days. I still get angry and have my anger and emotional bursts, but they're much better now although I just got off the phone screaming to my mother about something really frustrating. Sorry. 

And there you have it. My annual resolutions list. I'll have to come up with a new list tomorrow, just like I did all these years when I started this tradition in '09 (or was it '10?).

Goodbye 2015. You've been an exciting ride. You gave me sadness, but also happiness to counteract with the sadness. Some people left, but some came, not to replace those who left but to bring joy and happiness and excitement. To a better year ahead. 2016, bring it on!

Je Me Suis Un Joyeux Noel Peu

Well, seeing everyone around me so happy on such a beautiful Christmas day makes me all warm inside my heart too. It sucks to be away from home three Christmases in a row, but there's nothing I can do about it. I know that in the future, there will be even more Christmases away from home and it's gonna be inevitable. Maybe I'll build a home away from home someday on my own, too. 

I am also well aware of the fact that I will miss this study life when I'm no longer a student. Reality isn't too far away from me, because right now I'm already halfway through with my final year and in 6 more months, I will be done. I will graduate before I even finish writing this blog post, that's how fast time zooms past me. Like, you know how time is relative? In Interstellar, there were two scenes that made me gasp for air. The first scene was when they arrived on Miller's planet and found that the astronaut before them crashed only minuted before their arrival, although she left for the mission years ago. The second scene was the scene where they returned from Miller's planet back to their ship, and found that Romilly was 24 years older in the span of the few hours that they were on Miller's planet. I kid you not when I say I damn near had a panic attack watching this movie, because it describes my anxiety down to the last dot. Time is relative. To me, time moves really fast but to you, maybe time is extremely slow. This is why I worry. I worry about growing old.  I worry about people around me dying. I worry about death.

In exactly one month minus one day, I will turn 23. I don't really know how to feel about it. Each birthday passes by and I feel like I am the same like the years before, but when I look back on the big picture, I've actually turned into a different person. That's good, I guess. At least there's progress. 

11

Holy fucking shit. Today is the last day of the month. I predicted my exact reaction from my last blog post and then here I am... still the same. Still a serial procrastinator on the loose (sorry, Jose). But baby steps. I am taking baby steps to curb my bad habit since I still hold the hope of graduating first class. Anyway, November has been pretty good to me. My mid-semester trip was awesome, who knew Malaysia has so much to offer when all you've ever known of Malaysia was how it will never compare to places like  New York or Bali? What really shocked me was that there are actually Portuguese men here ??? 

Anyway so many things have been going on in my life lately that I feel like I barely have time to even breathe. As usual, I take 90% the bulk of the work in a 5 pax group assignment because no one is ever proactive. 

"What the fuck are you doing? Don't wait for me to tell you what to do! Please have some initiative! Okay, I just told you what to do. Why aren't you doing it? Fuck all of you"

As evident above, I just summed up my thought process whenever I deal with my group mates. I also have trust issues. They don't give a shit about the assignment or getting good grades but I do, so I have to do everything on my own, and in the end, I suffer. BUT GOOD NEWS. Pain is temporary, good grades are forever.

Okay it's time to go back to suffering. 

2 Spoopy 4 Me

I've wanted to make blogging a monthly affair for a while now, but I can never remember to do it, no matter how much I need to rant or how much free time I have on my hand with unlimited internet connection at home now. So everytime I do realise it, it's already the last day of the month and also the last hour. Therefore, this point proves that I am a natural born procrastinator. Because I remember a lot of things that I have to do at the 11th hour.

This month has passed by so fast, to the point where I feel like October just started literally two weeks ago. I remember thinking to myself that I've been back to uni for exactly a month on the 6th of October, but in a week it will be two months and I just cannot deal with that. Next thing I know, it's the 30th of November and I freak out again about time going by so fast. I have chronophobia and it's real. I've only had one homesick episode since I came back here, and it's all looking good again since I have my mid semester break next week. Yay. 

There are also some things that happened in this month, things I would not feel comfortable disclosing here. If I didn't tell you in person, then you don't need to know it from my blog. Honestly, it's final year from me and I know that I have to give it my all, so I try not to let these little things bother me so much. Because I learnt that nothing is more important than myself. Nothing is more important than me and my goal of becoming a strong independent black woman that don't need no man. 

Alor, quand je suis libre, je voudrais ecrivre mon poste en francais en avenir. Au revoir.