11

Holy fucking shit. Today is the last day of the month. I predicted my exact reaction from my last blog post and then here I am... still the same. Still a serial procrastinator on the loose (sorry, Jose). But baby steps. I am taking baby steps to curb my bad habit since I still hold the hope of graduating first class. Anyway, November has been pretty good to me. My mid-semester trip was awesome, who knew Malaysia has so much to offer when all you've ever known of Malaysia was how it will never compare to places like  New York or Bali? What really shocked me was that there are actually Portuguese men here ??? 

Anyway so many things have been going on in my life lately that I feel like I barely have time to even breathe. As usual, I take 90% the bulk of the work in a 5 pax group assignment because no one is ever proactive. 

"What the fuck are you doing? Don't wait for me to tell you what to do! Please have some initiative! Okay, I just told you what to do. Why aren't you doing it? Fuck all of you"

As evident above, I just summed up my thought process whenever I deal with my group mates. I also have trust issues. They don't give a shit about the assignment or getting good grades but I do, so I have to do everything on my own, and in the end, I suffer. BUT GOOD NEWS. Pain is temporary, good grades are forever.

Okay it's time to go back to suffering. 

Fish are Friends not Food

I don't understand people who have a set of guidelines for people to behave in order to be their "friends". Ok for example, to qualify as my true friend, you need to be available to me when I call you at 3am after the death of my cat, you need to be able to speak in 5 ancient languages, and you need to be able to sacrifice your firstborn child to satan before s/he turns two. 

Why is your friendship so exclusive? Would you even comply with such demands if you came across an acquaintance that has prerequisites like this? 

To me, you cannot put a price tag on friendship. Just because a friend is unavailable to you during the worst times of your life, it doesn't make them a bad friend. Everyone has their own lives to live and their world does not revolve around you alone. Why should you expect your friends to constantly be at your beck and call? Ask yourself, then, do you really need a friend or a maid?

People who constantly talk about how their friends don't really know them - did you allow your friends to penetrate through your barriers? Ultimately it is you who will call the shots on whom you want to count as friends. I hate people who constantly whine about how so-and-so are not true friends because s/he didn't do this/ that for me. Friendship doesn't work that way. They don't owe you anything, and their favors are out of goodwill, not obligation.

As we get older, good friends are harder to come by. I still remember the days when I was 5 - when anyone uttered "I don't want to friend you already" I would be quick to respond "don't want friend then don't friend lah". I had plenty of friends and making new friends at that age was really easy so friends like that were disposable. Now that I am 22, making new friends is nearly an impossible task for me so this explains why I only have like 3 person I can count as friends in uni. Could you imagine, if I put potential friends through my construct of "true friendship" tests, how many friends would I have?

Right. 

UGGGHHHHHH

So I live with 4 male housemates and 3 other female housemates. I get along well with everyone except two of the dick owners out of the four. This is because they own only one thing - a dick. Not even a brain. Not even a PEA-SIZED brain. If I could crack open their skulls, it would be empty. My anger is completely justified, though. 

One of this dude, let's call him Chew because that's actually his real name, is a fucking brainless misogynistic pig. His ideal woman is a subservient slave that does nothing but cook, clean, and give sex. However, what's funny is that his girlfriend is an irony. His girlfriend controls his every movement so he can't get tagged with us housemates on FB or she will lose her shit and personally fly here to kick him in his balls.

This second idiot, let's call him Vincent cause that's what he calls himself, is also of the same species as Chew. I swear these two pigs were put on earth in the form of humans to test my patience. Anyway, this Vincent is a grade A asshole. He's not an asshole to me, but to another girl that can't keep her mouth shut. So in a way it's kinda justified but his assholery trumps over her blabbery and again let me reiterate myself he's a fucking idiot so he is still at fault here. 

The other day during dinner we came to the subject of girlfriends/boyfriends. So someone said something along the lines of "paying for meals with your bf/gf" and without missing a beat Vincent jumped on the topic full-force and stated "I will never pay for my girlfriend's food using my parents' hard earned money!!!"
Okay calm your tits.
Firstly, you are clearly not fit to get into a relationship. How is it that you have had 3 girlfriends in the past is beyond me. Why would any girl even find you remotely attractive at half the shit you say? And not to mention your selfishness. I can pay for both our meals because I work and save. 
Secondly, you're a fucking idiot. 

And so this Chew asked me to say something nice about potty mouth girl to Vincent to change his mind that she is actually suitable for him (um wtf?) and the first thing that popped out of his mouth is telling me to say that potty mouth is a good cook. This really pisses me off because this fucking idiot obviously see women as nothing more than a stay at home cooking machine. I will never forget that one time he told me I should cook dinner for everyone just because I'm a woman and I should be doing the cooking. 

Justice porn - I obviously gave a huge piece of my mind to this fucktard Chew (I literally chew-ed him out) and as usual, his only comeback is "chill la joking only". Motherfucker, degrading women is not something you joke at!!!! Crawl back into your mother's womb and STAY THERE! 

FUCK I swear people here sre so fucking stupid and ignorant sometimes. 

Immature Old Bitch

I just realised that this uni education system has me chasing after good grades. I am not such a person. Well not since I was 9 when my studies took a huge dip and I transferred from the first class to the second class and subsequently struggled to pick up the grades I once had. Anyway, since uni is relatively easy for me, I find it difficult not to get obsessed with scoring perfect GPA. And this has, in turn, transformed me into an ass kisser. If you know me you will know that there is no way in hell I would kiss anyone's ass. 

Okay story time. The communications studies department in my uni is renowned for insane lecturers. Even the usage of the word "insane" is an understatement because if you are actually subjected under any of them's teaching you would know that there's more to them than just projected mental illness. However, this particular religion fanatic lecturer takes the cake. There are rumors (well more like truths) going around the faculty that she uses tears as threat. She will literally cry if you do not obey her instructions. What the fuck woman? Are you even a fucking LECTURER because that shit is unprofessional as fuck. Anddd since she is a communications lecturer I have to put up with her for FOUR consecutive semesters. Thats TWO whole years right there out of my THREE years. FUCK. But what she did that really got to me was how we are all required to buy her RM95 book. But there's a catch. Because she's fucking insane, remember? No good ever comes from a crazy bitch.The first catch is that she only ordered 80 books for the 120 students in our class. The second catch - EVERYONE is required to have the book. Third catch - OR ELSE all you bookless people sit in a corner while she teaches those with books. Fourth catch - NO PHOTOCOPIES. 

Well, she is on a whole new level of crazy. FUCKING CATSHIT CRAZY BITCH OF A WOMAN. And this is just one little part of her personality you're seeing, its not even the full picture yet. This is why I kiss her ass whenever possible. Because you absolutely cannot reason with crazy people.

May the good lord have mercy on my soul. 

Charge Me With Ignorance.

In a world as realistic as the one we're living in, it is so easy to fall into this huge abyss dug out by Ignorance. I'm pretty sure every single one of you are guilty of this crime, where anything that doesn't concern you doesn't matter. Milgram's Obedience studies were proven right over and over again, even by different people recreating his experiment. He was right. We bow down to authority figures. We are too subservient to people who hold power over us. If anything goes wrong, we play the blame game. "It's not my fault. He told me to do it." "Oh, I didn't know." "It's none of my concern." So many excuses. Neverending flow of excuses. 

In my case, I prioritized myself over this poor defenseless person. I wish I was as the moralistic asshole as I preach but things didn't go that way. My excuse? I don't have an excuse. I wish I'd have done the right thing. Everyone in this uni is so afraid of people of authority that the dare not even speak a word against what is wrong. There is so much that's going wrong with our students. How can I someday allow them to be controlling the country if they somehow happen to be ministers or whatnot, when they exhibit absolutely no empathy?