2016 Resolutions

So I'm the sort of person who just lets whatever happens, happens. I don't like living with a set of rules because chances are I don't follow them and deadlines give me anxiety. So yeh. But resolutions are different. Because I can forget about them for a whole year before I review my year again and remember all of the resolutions that I've made that I fail/ manage to keep. So, here are my resolutions this year.

♦ study harder because I'm slipping off the Dean's list
Yes my results get progressively worse as the semesters go by but I hope I can still salvage whatever that's left of this semester. Only four more subjects, I can do this! (although advertising class is a fucking bitch because no one has any idea what the fuck is going on) (come on, she taught 17 chapters in two months, half-assedly). I need to graduate first class!

♦ take no shit from no one
This is what I really need to practice after preaching about it to everyone I know. After all that's happened with some of the people I thought I knew very well (but actually I didn't even scratch the surface), it's time to stand up for myself and stop allowing myself to be mistreated by anyone. Period. I deserve better than what they treat me as.

♦ stop slacking
Okay this is a huge one that I absolutely have to stick to. I really need to stop procrastinating. I don't have forever. 

♦ get fitter
I've been pretty consistent with working out, but I still have a long way to go. I need a fit body by the end of this year because every year I make the same resolution but every year it goes unfulfilled.

♦ keep my temper in check 
I need to stop being so emotional and lashing out on people I care about. I don't mean it, but my temper sometimes refuse to reason so I still end up getting sad/ angry and taking it out on people dear to me. It sucks, so this is an aspect of myself that I definitely have to change. I think this is also one of the reasons why some people walked out and never came back.

♦ have a more positive mindset 
I want to stop letting little trivial things from bothering me. Sometimes I get too agitated with unimportant matters and it's an unhealthy obsession. I should learn to take life with a grain of salt (or however the proverb goes). 

♦ learn to say no and do what I want
Well I'm 23 in 24 days so it's about time I exercise some freedom for myself. My first solo trip abroad will be in about 10 days to Saigon, and I honestly can't wait! I need more solo trips like this. Well it's not exactly a solo trip cause I'm meeting someone there but still. Now I know that my spirit animal is actually a free bird, and nothing can stop me. Not even you, mom! 

Here's to a better year ahead. 2015 ended pretty well, so 2016 better be good! 

New Year's Resolution 2015

Okay it's been a whole year since I recapped on my new year's resolution. This has become all too routine for me; a mundane task I once was so excited to do. Not anymore though. Over the years I have been so jaded with everything that's happening around me that I feel like I do things just to go through the motions. Here we go:

• study harder and maintain my Dean's list!!! 

So far so good. I've been on the Deans list for all my semesters in uni, albeit slipping a little from the GPA I used to get. But hey in my defense it gets progressively harder therefore making keeping up so much harder as well. Let's see how I will do for my 5th semester.

• do my squats

I'm really proud of myself because I've actually been working out/ exercising since September. I hit the gym for two solid months before workload got the best of me and my gym buddy and then the weather too. So now I mostly do running. And I unlocked an achievement I never thought was possible in my lifetime - running 5k in less than an hour. Thank you ZombiesRun!

• be a better driver 

Well I drive significantly better compared with when I first started, although according to a specific person that I chauffeured for 3 days I drive like I'm trying to commit a homicide so there you go. Driving manual is not a joke because I don't have the best hand-leg coordination, so this is an area that I can work on. Oh yeah I have horrible distance perception too. 

• blog more 

Yep. I wanted to make blogging a monthly affair but I forget every time. But when I do remember to do so, I do it. I wanted to have at least 12 blog posts a year but it didn't happen. Oh well, we still have next year (which is literally less than one hour from now).

• better a better human in general

I can't really say that I have been a better person, but I can say that I've definitely changed. I handle situations with a slightly more mature mindset these days. I still get angry and have my anger and emotional bursts, but they're much better now although I just got off the phone screaming to my mother about something really frustrating. Sorry. 

And there you have it. My annual resolutions list. I'll have to come up with a new list tomorrow, just like I did all these years when I started this tradition in '09 (or was it '10?).

Goodbye 2015. You've been an exciting ride. You gave me sadness, but also happiness to counteract with the sadness. Some people left, but some came, not to replace those who left but to bring joy and happiness and excitement. To a better year ahead. 2016, bring it on!

2015 Resolutions

I really have to make this list so that I can get back to studying for my finals which is coming up in 3 days. Okay, first things first (I'm the realest):

• study harder and maintain my Dean's list!!!
My grades have been slipping and my body  and mind is constantly debating whether to study or sleep, and I choose the latter EVERY DAMN TIME. My finals is creeping up real quick and I haven't done shit. And I'm starting to regret not studying but here I am, not even moving.

• do my squats
I want a Beyonce booty but I don't have the motivation Beyonce has. Blah. I should probably focus on getting back my stamina first.

• be a better driver
Well right now my driving is pretty steady considering I drive manual transmission and not auto. Somebody please warn my grandparents I'm gonna take them on a road trip again when I get back. And it's time to whine at my mother to let me drive her car.

• blog more
I had so much to blog about during last year's CNY but guess what? Yeh. I didn't write a single thing about the road trip with my grandparents, and about how my grandpa took a bullet to his calf, and about how my grandma was adopted as a maid at the age of 8 because her parents died during the war.

• better a better human in general
Ok I really don't know what else to list as my resolution so I'm just gonna put this here in case I think of something that I want done by the end of this year and regret not putting it on the list. Like playing the guitar more often because I did not even touch my guitar last year. And I just realised I cannot think on demand so yeh I probably need a new brain.

Right. I cannot believe I have been doing this resolution thing for so long. I don't even remember I have a resolution list until the end of the year (31st December precisely). Does anyone else feel like time passes by really quickly too? Literally this time last year I was wishing for a better year ahead, and although it was significantly better I don't remember much.

Here's to a more memorable year ahead, as a 22-year-old.

New Year's Resolution 2014

I've been doing this resolution thing for so long it's not right if I don't keep up with this tradition. To recap; I don't really remember much about this year. It's like it just whooshed past me and I'm 21 it's supposed to be exciting I should be clubbing and doing exciting things but here I am, wasting another year. I didn't get a key pendant for my birthday. Literally nothing exciting happened. I didn't get smashed. I didn't get a cake (I think? I forgot). Well... Let's see how many things I can cross off my list.

• get a gpa of 3.7 and above for all my semesters
Yes. My first semester was really impressive but come second semester, it went downhill. I can predict my future semesters will be worse. It's not that I didn't study, but when you have stingy ass lecturers that give you shitty marks for assignment, no amount of Our Fathers and Hail Mary's can save your burnt ass. So I guess I can cross this off my list.

• exercise
If you challenge me to a 100m sprint right now, I'll die on the 10m mark. I bought a school gym membership back in March and I actually exercised 3 times a week (to my disbelief) but not anymore. I tried walking home a few weeks ago and while I made it home, my body was ready to die. I even tried squats for a nice firm booty but it didn't happen.

• get another piercing
Nope. No new piercings, despite how much I really want one.

• learn to forgive and forget
Ah this. I'm more forgiving now, but don't trust me not to talk shit about you. Sometimes I try to forget but my brain refuses to delete any unwanted files. However when I really want to remember something, my brain decides to forget. But I realised something - we can never remember what we have forgotten.

• spend more time with my grandparents
Apart from school keeping me busy, when I was back I did spend time with them. I drove them to Ipoh and that remained to be my biggest achievement of 2014. My grandparents are the only people willing to entrust their life to me to drive them anywhere. Wow. Even my own mother doesn't give me that kinda trust level. And my manual driving skills have definitely improved a lot. I think I can drive by myself on the road now but I should probably come with a warning.

Goodbye 2014. You were really forgettable.

2014 Resolutions

I haven't thought about my resolutions yet, actually, so I will make things up as I go. I feel so aimless, but then again it's not a good thing to aim so high only to fall so hard. Whoever told me that it will be a piece of cake to get 4.0 in uni is a big fat liar! It's only the first semester and I'm already struggling to keep all my subjects balanced between the 80-100 mark. Lesson learnt - do not take "advices" so seriously.

• get a gpa of 3.7 and above for all my semesters

Why 3.7 ? Because I can actually waive my loan and not pay back. I've already owed about 20k by the time I graduate so it would really benefit me to not spend RM150 of my first paycheck to pay off my debt and subsequently take out RM150 every month til my debt is all paid. Fuck being a student is so tough.

• exercise

I haven't done any exercising since I stopped in November 2011 so it would really be good to dust my shoes and get back on track and get a decent body. For my future navel piercing. 

• get another piercing
If my navel piercing didn't reject I'd be so happy but no, my bitch of a body HAS TO kick it out. I'm eyeing for a rook piercing too. Piercings are fun and exciting.

• learn to forgive and forget

Why harbor hate towards someone who doesn't even remember if s/he has hurt you ? So from now on if anyone say/ do mean things to me I should probably just forget about it cause chances are I'm sacrificing my happiness over some assholes being mean. (Well my social science lecturer was being the ultimate bitch yesterday so I'm still kinda angry she had to react the way she did but TODAY IS A DIFFERENT DAY it's a new me so I forgive her.)

• spend more time with my grandparents
I'd really like to be able to drive my grandparents anywhere they want to because I have a drivers license now and I am willing to be a free personal chauffeur. Maybe this excitement will wear off once I have my own kids and have to dread driving them to school. 

Wow this list is so short I really have nothing better to come up with. Probably will add to this list when I think of something worth doing. Yea. I should really get back to my studies.

New Year's Resolution 2013

Today is the last day of the year (again) so let me see what I can cross out from my resolution checklist. Time has gone by surprisingly fast but that's kinda good, I think, cos I don't really like how this year turned out to be. I spent the first half of my year working in Vivo Hotel so basically there goes my supposedly 9-month holiday. Then the rest of my year was spent in Unimas, a university out in the woop woop. Yep, that's it.

• accept my STPM results with an open heart
When the results were out, you basically HAVE TO calculate your GPA yourself and when i got mine, my hands were trembling so much and I was so nervous I couldn't even math. When I regain my composure and figured out my GPA, I was half-screaming because I got exactly the pointer needed for entry into the local university. Although it was pretty shitty, I was glad because my prayers were answered. Thanks, Jesus.

 • get driver's license
YESSS this has got to be the biggest achievement of my life. I was declared a full-fledged licensed driver at the end of August, just in time for my enrollment. You have no idea how much I whined at my mom for her to finally let me get my license. I have more whining to do, too, because she wouldn't let me TOUCH HER CAR. I have a license for Pete's sake. Apparently she doesn't like being chauffeured to work. 

• continue my studies in USA
 This is by far my biggest disappointment. Nope, my hopes were dashed. I don't have enough money, and never will. I get envious of my friends who continued their studies overseas. You lucky bastards.

• positive thinking
My anxieties were alleviated when my grandpa had a seizure, and ever since then whenever I hear a loud thumping noise when I'm trying to sleep, I relive the exact moment when I heard my grandpa fall followed my my grandma's disheartened screams. It's horrible, to top it off my grandma fell and had to go to the hospital. It makes me hate being confined here feeling so helpless.

My last resolution was omitted due to cringe issues. When I blog and write cringey stuff I tend to forget I actually have viewers and it might come back to haunt me so better not. Overall, I didn't really like this year because honestly it could have been better but it wasn't... Glad it's going to be over in another 2 1/2 hours.

Farewell, 2013. It has been a rolley-coastey ride.

   
 

2013 Resolutions

Here we go again, this resolution-writing has become all too familiar for me. I've been doing it for three years without missing a beat so that's a good achievement to begin with, and if only I'd put that in my 2012 resolution list. Oh well. Time can't turn itself back, so it's too bad then. An opportunity to cross it off the list is missed. 2013, be good to me.

• accept my STPM results with an open heart
I kinda already know how badly I screwed up int he exams and heck, I even constantly dream about having to sit for the exam without preparation way after the exams already ended but I can't help it. I can't help but still wish for good grades and a 3.0 pointer. That's an impossible feat considering the fact that I screwed up pretty much all my subjects badly especially Chemistry. Thinking back about my paper 1 can make me cry tears of blood. What's done is done and nothing can be changed, so I might as well embrace it.

• get driver's license
Wow this was my 2010 resolution and 3 years later it still has not come true... I am a sore loser. All of my friends are going places with a car and a car license but me. I'm pathetic.

• continue my studies in USA
I just love USA so much. And also it would be a great getaway from everything that I hate here.

• positive thinking
Stop getting jealous at everyone who have the luxuries of traveling around the world. Stop wallowing in self pity when everybody else has a better life than me. Just don't give so many fucks. 

• last forever with my boyfriend
Is this wishful thinking? I really really really hope we can work out, because he is so perfect and he is everything I ever wanted. I knew I loved him before I met him. Before he came into my life I missed him so bad. And I am actually making an effort to make this work, because I want "us" to still materialise in the future. I know that you skeptics may say "anything can happen" but fingers and toes crossed, only positive changes not negative changes. I really love that boy.

Well I guess that's it? I can't think of anything else anymore. Let's check back in a year's time.

new year's resolution 2012

okay, lets look back on the past 12 months and see how i fare in keeping up with my resolutions. warning : they don't exactly look very promising.

•study my ass off regardless when exam time is - which translates to everyday, if possible

okay... i didn't study everyday for the first 3 quarters of the year. BUT i did study a little more 2 months before the exams, and a month before it i was pumped with adrenaline, taking my book with me even when i went back to bahau. that's an achievement right? right.but in the end, i realised that no matter how much i studied before the exams i will still forget everything. it's an effort put in nonetheless and when i get my results and they're bad at least i can comfort myself knowing i did put a considerably huge amount of effort into it as the sloth i am. so, i guess i can cross this off.

•maintain my sanity although ryan's my class teacher, and although there are possibilities of being taunted over and over again

guess what guys?! i am still sane. maybe thats not the right word to use because i've never been sane.

•do the best i can in STPM; i don't wanna disappoint anyone again. preferably with a 4 pointer but i know that's kinda impossible

a 4 pointer??? pshhh. it's like blowing out a candle 15 miles away with your mouth. that's right, it's impossible. i'd be super happy if i even hit the magical 3.0 jackpot.

•keep my cool at all times

so far i've been doing really well, occasionally snapping at imbeciles but they deserved it.

•be more religious

oh yeah, i've never been more religious knowing that i will screw my STPM up without the help of god sprinkling gold dusts on me.

•spend less time going online (this is gonna be real hard)

honestly speaking, i failed this one. big time. i mean, who can resist the allure of pictures of cats on the internet? and porn. don't forget porn.

•have a more positive outlook of things, like be happy and move on with life

this is one thing that i can definitely check. i have never been happier since i met him on the 25th of may. i am so happy he came into my life (actually i went into his life but it's the same) (even if its not the same let's just pretend it is). he is good looking. smart. fucking adorable, because the word adorable alone isn't enough to emphasise how fucking adorable he is. sweet as the urine of a diabetic person. and just amazing in general. did i mention he is amazing? well let me mention it again. he is amazing.

yep, that's the recap of my 2011 new year's resolution. overall, i would give it a 84% success. i guess i am okay with how things turned out, like my studies for instance. if i could turn back the hands of time and change it, i wouldn't because i would still repeat what i've done.

oh ya, did i also mention it took me so long to remember the email and password to this account? let me mention it again, it took me so long to remember the email and password to this account. 

2012 resolutions

hello world, we meet again. so i've been thinking, since i don't even realize i have resolutions right after i make resolutions which in return make me not keep my resolutions, why do i keep making them then? and the answer that i came up with was that no matter what people keep saying, about how you don't need resolutions and all to go on with your life, i find it comforting that i actually have something to stick to, although as i've said in my sentence above i don't even remember having them. and here's my list:

•study my ass off regardless when exam time is - which translates to everyday, if possible

•maintain my sanity although ryan's my class teacher, and although there are possibilities of being taunted over and over again

•do the best i can in STPM; i don't wanna disappoint anyone again. preferably with a 4 pointer but i know that's kinda impossible

•keep my cool at all times

•be more religious

•spend less time going online (this is gonna be real hard)

•have a more positive outlook of things, like be happy and move on with life

well, i guess that's just about it, we will have to wait for exactly a year from now on to see how i fare. given that we are all still alive by then.

new year's resolution 2011

okay folks, let's see how i did in keeping up with my resolutions. this has somehow become a tradition for me, well, look at my previous posts. here we go.

○ never regret my decision to go to USA

there was absolutely no regrets, but things could have been better. like, i would have enjoyed being hosted in la or some big city like new york but oh well, if i did, i probably would not have met all the amazing people i met in georgia. but at the same time, i do feel a tinge of regret for getting myself involved in a relationship which resulted in me being dumped. well i'm not gonna lie; it was amazing while it lasted, and i'd rather regret the things that i have done rather than things i did not do.

○ accept my SPM results with an open heart

when i found out my spm results from my mom after staying up all night waiting for the phone call, i was devastated cos i got a for my bible knowledge. oh well, i guess i probably don't have a brain built for a theologian. and it was also the day when lauren found out her nonna died, so yeah it wasn't fun. and after enrolling myself in form six only i realize how insignificant the form 5 cert is.

○ i should stop getting so pissed off over small matters

well, i did not stick to this one, because i got pissed off over small matters really easily especially when someone was there to care about me. i don't even know what was wrong with me but hopefully, i get to keep this resolution next year given that i don't forget about it.

○ be more responsible

oh yes, you bet i was. i did my own laundry, i was a fine role model for my two younger host sisters, most importantly i adhered to the three golden rule of afs - no drinking, no driving and no hitchhiking. plus, i was the best exchange student for apalachee high school! that's gotta be something to brag about!

○ stop procrastinating

hmm.. i think i fared pretty well the first half of the year but then it got progressively worse until i was back in square one toward the end of the year. which means i need to buck up!

2011 resolutions

the reason why i keep making resolutions even though i might not follow it is because i wanna keep track on my life. i'm forgetful, clumsy and live life in the moment. so hopefully this resolution will keep me from straying away from what i am supposed to do. 

○ never regret my decision to go to USA

○ accept my SPM results with an open heart

○ i should stop getting so pissed off over small matters

○ be more responsible

○ stop procrastinating

i think i wont be able to keep my last resolution this year. oh well, there's always next year.

new year's resolution 2010

well,.. what i have here is a list of resolutions i made last year and let's see how i fare.

○ try to actually DO homework instead of copying them.

   okay, maybe i did do a little homework here and there.. so.. resolution failed.

○ win this year's SIR

   yes, i did it !

○ study really really REALLY hard for SPM

   nope, this did not work out too well.. although i did study really hard the night before. it counts, right ?

○ go for AFS interview

   PASSED ! i'm on my way there, america !

○ enjoy life

   yes, there was definitely a lot of enjoyment in my life especially when all the other kids are studying their asses off. the guilt is hitting me now.

○ get driver's licence

   nope, mom's still not buying the excuse of me sending my brother and sister to school. apparently she doesn't want them to be killed by me.

○ STOP procrastination!

   i'll stop procrastinating tomorrow.

so, there goes my resolution for 2010. what's your verdict ?