This is why Happy Working Day is not celebrated. Nor recognised.

As of today, its been 1 month and 2 days of living as a minimum waged white collar citizen. Well, at least the collar isn't blue. So let me tell you my observation working as a receptionist in a hotel. 
Condoms ? Yeah they're there. Some are still moist when discovered...
Couples entering separately for fear of being seen going into a hotel together to have sex? Plenty.
One of my ex schoolmates whom removed me from Facebook without even have the courtesy to tell me we're no longer friends? Oh did I also mentioned she was seen going in and out of the room with another guy. It's none of my business, really, but I still harbor hate toward her for deleting me off her friend list.
    And so far, there has been two ancient bicycles and a motorbike stolen, with two cars and a hardware shop got broken into. Its a scary place, but you know what's scarier ? Room guests. So there was this 23 year old immature boy who extended his check out time til 1, and by 2 he wasn't out so Kanchanama went up and opened his room door. This boy got so pissed he came down and started shouting shamelessly causing a ruckus. Kanchanama threatened to call the police, in which she did and it was settled by the police. Moral of the story - don't mess with an angry woman. Neva eva kick the hornet's nest.
    I have also seen humans which are beyond stupid with the IQ  of a whale turd. Seriously, if you think you're dumb, these people are beyond saving grace. Now I know there is actually no limit as to how retarded a human can be, and its everywhere.
    And by the way, if you think "customers are always right", take your motto and shove it up your ignorant asshole please. Do us all a favor by dousing yourself with flammable liquid and die a slow, painful death. Thanks. But on the other end of the monochrome rainbow, there are actually two guests that I really like. One of them has tipped me twice during both of his stays since I started working, and the other one addresses me by my name after I told him my name only once. He said he remembers my name because there're only so few of us, but hey he's kinda cute so it's okay. And speaking of cute, I remember this particular hot as fuck room guest. He walked up to the counter and I kept staring until I noticed his boyfriend. Bummer. He was really hot, like a younger and hotter Nigel Barker with golden hair hidden underneath a cap. So yeah this job has cons that over weigh the pros, but hey at least I get paid to sit and just get verbally abused. It's not that bad, really.

birthday!

yay.

Don't Wish Me "Happy" Birthday.

Today is my last day to be a teen... and honestly I don't like this feeling I'm getting, AT ALL. It's like my anxiety is just telling me "you're gonna be 20, someday you're gonna grow old and lose your dependence for your parents and you will have your own kids and then you grow old and die". I don't like this thought. Teen years are probably the years in which I have the most memories in, the ones I love the most because it was in this period that I discovered friends, did crazy things and loved. I don't know, turning 20 is supposed to be happy and all but thinking of my friends who turn 20 later in the year, I get jealous. Why can they appreciate more time as a teen but I don't? I know everyone's gifted with the same amount of time but I wish I was born later in the year. Then I would have so many more choices of guys to date because I like guys older than me... but I've found mine so it's bearable. And I like being young. I don't know, my mind is a mess right now. I don't wanna be 20! I know I will be fine after I hit 20 but this is still a huge blow to me. The funny thing is that every year I try to compare my "before and after" years... and not to my surprise it feels exactly like the year before. My brain is a mess and after this I will assume so much more responsibilities. So my brain needs to stop worrying because I have exactly a year before I'm officially an adult. Right? An at least I get the day off for tomorrow.

2013 Resolutions

Here we go again, this resolution-writing has become all too familiar for me. I've been doing it for three years without missing a beat so that's a good achievement to begin with, and if only I'd put that in my 2012 resolution list. Oh well. Time can't turn itself back, so it's too bad then. An opportunity to cross it off the list is missed. 2013, be good to me.

• accept my STPM results with an open heart
I kinda already know how badly I screwed up int he exams and heck, I even constantly dream about having to sit for the exam without preparation way after the exams already ended but I can't help it. I can't help but still wish for good grades and a 3.0 pointer. That's an impossible feat considering the fact that I screwed up pretty much all my subjects badly especially Chemistry. Thinking back about my paper 1 can make me cry tears of blood. What's done is done and nothing can be changed, so I might as well embrace it.

• get driver's license
Wow this was my 2010 resolution and 3 years later it still has not come true... I am a sore loser. All of my friends are going places with a car and a car license but me. I'm pathetic.

• continue my studies in USA
I just love USA so much. And also it would be a great getaway from everything that I hate here.

• positive thinking
Stop getting jealous at everyone who have the luxuries of traveling around the world. Stop wallowing in self pity when everybody else has a better life than me. Just don't give so many fucks. 

• last forever with my boyfriend
Is this wishful thinking? I really really really hope we can work out, because he is so perfect and he is everything I ever wanted. I knew I loved him before I met him. Before he came into my life I missed him so bad. And I am actually making an effort to make this work, because I want "us" to still materialise in the future. I know that you skeptics may say "anything can happen" but fingers and toes crossed, only positive changes not negative changes. I really love that boy.

Well I guess that's it? I can't think of anything else anymore. Let's check back in a year's time.

Honestly...

Who views my blog??? When I check the statistics for the amount of views I have, I have 12 views from yesterday. Yeah I know it's not a lot but it's still something. Or is google lying to me? WELL I WILL STRANGLE YOU YOU CHEATING BASTARD. Nah google is god.

Recap of my year.

Let me commence with properly capitalizing and punctuating my sentences from now on, shall I?

Ok here it goes.

•January
What happened in January ? I don't remember much except for the face that it's my birthday month. Oh I learnt to ride a motorbike. And it was the Lunar New Years. Funny how I can remember it so well now after a very contradictory starting sentence. Heh. And my Chemistry teacher gave me a birthday note complete with a cat origami. How unusual, it was almost like snowing in June.
(Remember "Sometimes the snow comes down in June 
Sometimes the sun goes 'round the moon"? They never happen.)

•February

Well, Whitney Houston died. That's all I remember. And this year is a leap year right? Right. Well actually I'm not too sure myself, let's just pretend it is.

•March

First test of the year. I'm pretty sure I did quite bad so let's not bring up my sad past.

•April

Wow the description of my months are getting shorter and shorter. What happened in April? I really can't recall. Hahaa the way I asked my question was as though you lived April for me.

•May

Tests again. But we had a mid-term break, and a day before that I met him. The most amazing guy I have come across, the guy I've been eyeing for sometime, the guy I finally managed to tackle.. 25th of May to be precise.

•June 

2 weeks of break, and then back to studies.

•July

I got his number. I ASKED FOR IT. Because I'm a strong independent black woman. And then, MUET. I remember how badly I screw my speaking test up, and the examiner showed no mercy. 

•August

I attended a friend's brother's wedding, and on the 19th was where the magic happened. I've been looking forward to that day since god knows when, and when it finally came it did not disappoint. 

•September

Tests again, and this time it was trials so everyone was relieved when it was over. When it was over, we went for Resident Evil together, it was a good movie mainly because the only thing I could smell was his Polo No.3.  And the following day, he jogged all the way from his house to mine just to see me. It's amazing how jealousy can push you for a 20 min jog.

•October

Started freaking out for the major final exam. It was also the last schooling month and I developed a full blown anxiety that crippled me for two weeks. It was horrible, and that period was the weakest point I have ever experienced in my life, and I have never cried so much. I also developed the habit of calling him at 3something pm everyday. Because my land line calls are free, so why not make full use of it?

•November

Started to really study but was overall still distracted by the evil social networking site Facebook. The major final exam is here, the exam I have been prepping my whole life for. 

•December

Spent a total of 8 days on the beach because the shuttle to the beach is free of charge. Basically sitting at home waiting for the skin of my butt to be rooted to the chair forever.

That's pretty much it, I guess. If I had money then I would have a more interesting life story to tell but unfortunately I don't.

new year's resolution 2012

okay, lets look back on the past 12 months and see how i fare in keeping up with my resolutions. warning : they don't exactly look very promising.

•study my ass off regardless when exam time is - which translates to everyday, if possible

okay... i didn't study everyday for the first 3 quarters of the year. BUT i did study a little more 2 months before the exams, and a month before it i was pumped with adrenaline, taking my book with me even when i went back to bahau. that's an achievement right? right.but in the end, i realised that no matter how much i studied before the exams i will still forget everything. it's an effort put in nonetheless and when i get my results and they're bad at least i can comfort myself knowing i did put a considerably huge amount of effort into it as the sloth i am. so, i guess i can cross this off.

•maintain my sanity although ryan's my class teacher, and although there are possibilities of being taunted over and over again

guess what guys?! i am still sane. maybe thats not the right word to use because i've never been sane.

•do the best i can in STPM; i don't wanna disappoint anyone again. preferably with a 4 pointer but i know that's kinda impossible

a 4 pointer??? pshhh. it's like blowing out a candle 15 miles away with your mouth. that's right, it's impossible. i'd be super happy if i even hit the magical 3.0 jackpot.

•keep my cool at all times

so far i've been doing really well, occasionally snapping at imbeciles but they deserved it.

•be more religious

oh yeah, i've never been more religious knowing that i will screw my STPM up without the help of god sprinkling gold dusts on me.

•spend less time going online (this is gonna be real hard)

honestly speaking, i failed this one. big time. i mean, who can resist the allure of pictures of cats on the internet? and porn. don't forget porn.

•have a more positive outlook of things, like be happy and move on with life

this is one thing that i can definitely check. i have never been happier since i met him on the 25th of may. i am so happy he came into my life (actually i went into his life but it's the same) (even if its not the same let's just pretend it is). he is good looking. smart. fucking adorable, because the word adorable alone isn't enough to emphasise how fucking adorable he is. sweet as the urine of a diabetic person. and just amazing in general. did i mention he is amazing? well let me mention it again. he is amazing.

yep, that's the recap of my 2011 new year's resolution. overall, i would give it a 84% success. i guess i am okay with how things turned out, like my studies for instance. if i could turn back the hands of time and change it, i wouldn't because i would still repeat what i've done.

oh ya, did i also mention it took me so long to remember the email and password to this account? let me mention it again, it took me so long to remember the email and password to this account.